We have all heard the saying “the grass isn’t always greener”. Then why do we keep peeping over our neighbors’ fence convinced that it must be? We have a compulsion to compare and there are no limits to where we will go. But what does comparison really get us? Does it ever change our circumstances? Does it really motivate us to live a better life?
Here’s the breakdown on how COMPARISON keeps us trapped and how to get out of it FOR GOOD!
We waste a lot of time wishing, hoping and desiring to have something we think we don’t have. We think about money, the home, the kid, the body or the husband and then become convinced that we are without.
This is crucial:
· We THINK we don’t have what we need.
· We THINK we are lacking
· We THINK we won’t have enough
· We THINK we aren’t measuring up.
We think TOO harshly about ourselves TOO much of the time. We are so sure that the person sitting next to us on the bench has it better for A, B and C reasons. This is such an unfair comparison, and we will lose every-time. We can change what we spend time thinking about. IT IS POSSIBLE!
The mind is the battlefield. Our emotions are at war with our perspective and our perspective is at war with reality. If we aren’t practicing awareness, we begin to mindlessly fall into the COMPARISON LOOP. There is another way of living!
We can choose to compare our ever-changing feelings, thoughts and perspective to something that is unchanging- THE TRUTH. It is simplistic but powerful. Here is the truth:
- You are worthy
- You are enough
- You are loveable
- No one can take value from you (not in what they say or do)
- You have everything you need
- Perfection is not real
It takes PRACTICE to change our thinking and we can start multiple times a day. Maybe you can start now…if you could, for just a second, say these words to yourself:
- I am worthy
- I am enough
- I am loveable
- My value is unconditional
- I have everything I need
- I do not need to be perfect
Let your body sit with these words and notice what comes up for you while you voice these thoughts and beliefs. You are opening a door for the truth to come in. Feeling this power within can be uncomfortable at first. That is okay, it takes time to develop self-acceptance.
Practice sitting in your yard and see the grass for what it is. Realize that it is beautiful, carefully planted and uniquely yours!
If you find yourself overwhelmed by the comparison loop, there are great mental and emotional tools that can be learned. Seek out some support from a counselor and they can talk you through some really helpful methods to break the cycle.
Toni Greco, LPC